Ship's Log 09.09.2013
Ahoy Mateys! It be time fer me MONDAY MOOD SWING!
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Today's MOOD be.......FEAR
What am I afraid of? I guess that would all depend on the stage of life that I am in at the moment.
When I was a little child, I was afraid of dark places, spiders and anyone that I did not know.
When I was in High School, I was afraid of giving speeches in public. I also feared the unknown after graduation.
Once I became a young adult, more fears began to enter into my life. Would I be a good wife? A good mother? Will Jack's income be enough so that I can stay home and be with our children? Will I be able to homeschool our kids?
It was at this time in my life when I started to read the Bible more and more. And since I wasn't really understanding most of it, fear was still there. It wouldn't be until years later that I would actually understand God's Word and be able to draw upon His promises.
Today, I am a wife, mother, grandmother and soon to be great-grandmother. And what do I fear now? I am always fearful when I know that my children are driving. Even if I believed they were the best drivers on the road, I know that there are other drivers out there that are not. Accidents happen all the time and I admit that I am afraid for them, especially here in Shasta County. The drivers are crazy here!
And even though I believe that my children are excellent parents, I always fear for the safety of my grandchildren. This is something that I have been in serious prayer with God over a lot. It is getting better, though. God is helping me to trust Him to keep an eye on my grandchildren at all times. Again, it's not that I do not trust my children to take care of their children, it's just something that I have always struggled with.
I do not fear death, because I know that I will be with the Lord when my time is done here.
I think the biggest fear that I have right now, is the fear of my husband passing away before I do. If I should die first, I know that it would take some time for him to grieve, but after awhile, he would continue to work and be just fine. But, if Jack should die before me, I have no idea what I would do. Even if I was able to get his Social Security, it would not be enough to live off of. Because of my age, health issues and lack of experience, I can't see myself getting a job. I would have to think about living with one of my children. Not my son, he has a new family and is already living with in-laws....My daughters? Well, because of my 2 dogs, I cannot live with one daughter (son-in-law hates my dogs, plus other issues) and if I lived with my other daughter, I would have to move far away from my grandchildren.
I know that these fears come from Satan and that I need to put it all into God's hands. But, it is truly hard NOT to think about it.
And yes, deep down inside, I know that if Jack should die first, that I would be fine.....yet that fear still lingers.
So, there you have it. I spilled my guts out to you and shared my fears. Are you brave enough to share at least one of your fears?
Have a blessed week. God bless.
My fears are a lot like yours! Even your childhood and high school fears! And now, like you, I want to be a good wife and mother. I fear the "what if my children stray way from the Lord?" I also fear something happening to Reuben that takes me out of the home and on the work field. I also fear dying "too young" and leaving Reuben to raise our kids on his own. But, I know God is in control and He will provide no matter what happens in this life!
ReplyDeleteNice to know that my fears were normal. :) As far as the fear of your children straying, just raise them the way you believe God wants them raised and they will return to Him should they stray one day. I do believe there is a verse for that. ;) Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
DeleteI draw on that scripture a lot.
I will be praying for your fears to lessen. Just know that you are not the only one with these fears; there should be some comfort in that. :)
Thanks for sharing. Hugs!
Bless you for opening up to us like that! I fear losing a child or dying before my hubby and leaving him to raise the 4 by himself. I love the comfort God gives us and reminds us that He is in control!
ReplyDeleteI guess all moms have that fear inside. The thought of leaving our families behind to fend for themselves. As we grow in the Lord and study His Word, He helps us to put our trust in Him and trust that no matter what happens that He will always be there to protect our loved ones. Until His return, Satan will always be there, whispering in our ears, fueling those fears. We must stand strong and rebuke Satan...make him flee!
DeleteHugs to you, my friend, thank you for sharing.
Wow. Yes, I have fears, most of them irrational... I am so freaked out by clowns, mimes, gnomes, and other things like that. So creepy, and I know they're not "real", they're either a statue, picture, or someone dressed up, but I'm still afraid of them. Also afraid of losing friends or family members, although it's not something I think about all the time. I'm paranoid and get scared in the dark. And I'm afraid that I'm missing what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, and worried that I'm not a good enough wife :/ But I pray about it a lot! And read Bible verses that help :)
ReplyDeleteWell, Sarah, yes your fears are a bit unconventional, but there is no set rules when it comes to fearing something. Your fear of being a good enough wife and doing what you are supposed to do with your life are natural fears. You are still very young and have a lot to learn and experience. To be a good wife, all you need is a loving husband and guidance from the Lord. Keep in the Word and do your best to live your life according to God's will. He will help you to open doors that will lead to happiness and fulfillment. It's when we open our own doors that cause our lives to get messed up. Try not to stress over the job situation. God will lead you to where you need to be. In the meantime, keep praying and living your best to please Him. We have never met in person, but I can sense that you have a huge heart and that you love the Lord. You are sweet and I always know that I can count on you to pray for any prayer request I post. God WILL guide you, just be patient and wait on His timing. Hugs!!!
DeleteAww, thank you Debbie!! <3
DeleteYou are very welcome, Sarah! <3
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